Showing posts with label blog. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blog. Show all posts
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Bad Poetry Is What I Need
It's been a long time since I blogged.
But now I've been blogging again.
It's been a long time
since I blogged.
It's been since way back when.
But now I've been blogging again.
It's been a long time
since I blogged.
It's been since way back when.
Friday, April 3, 2009
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Special Blog Update For "Enjoy_Every_Sandwich" blogger!!!
This is in reply to a comment left at my last update.
First, thank you very much for leaving a comment on my weblog! You are first person who isn't me to leave a comment on my blog, only 3 months after my last update entry and only 9 months since the first ever post! To celebrate you typing words and pressing the "Publish Your Comment" button, I am going to be making this special blog post just for you!!!!
To answer your question: I enjoy Body Rock with an equal mix of 50% Irony and 50% Sincerity.
The Ironic enjoyment comes from the bad acting, bad script, cliche plot and miscast lead. Chilly's opening scene at the unemployment office has to be seen to be experienced. "I like to look fresshhhh..."
The Sincere enjoyment comes from the look, feel and sound of the 1980s hip-hop breakdancing scene; or at least, Hollywood's idealized version thereof. Some of the direction is OK, too: the first dance sequence is really quite good, and the colours in the movie are very bright and stimulating.
Also worth mentioning is the background of NYC skyscrapers. Especially nostalgic are the scenes of Chilly and Magick dancing at the World Trade Center. Most new movies are filmed in the unremarkable locations of Toronto and Vancouver.
I noticed you're from a nearby metropolitan area. I assume you must have discovered Body Rock at a Wal-Mart DVD bin for $5? I believe it is now out-of-print, so I regard my official copy as a collector's item.
Don't forget to study hard as a student of journalism. Check all your facts from 3 different credible sources (e.g., Wikipedia, the Internet and YouTube comments). Soon you will be out there writing the first draft of history. Come to think of it, you already are!
First, thank you very much for leaving a comment on my weblog! You are first person who isn't me to leave a comment on my blog, only 3 months after my last update entry and only 9 months since the first ever post! To celebrate you typing words and pressing the "Publish Your Comment" button, I am going to be making this special blog post just for you!!!!
To answer your question: I enjoy Body Rock with an equal mix of 50% Irony and 50% Sincerity.
The Ironic enjoyment comes from the bad acting, bad script, cliche plot and miscast lead. Chilly's opening scene at the unemployment office has to be seen to be experienced. "I like to look fresshhhh..."
The Sincere enjoyment comes from the look, feel and sound of the 1980s hip-hop breakdancing scene; or at least, Hollywood's idealized version thereof. Some of the direction is OK, too: the first dance sequence is really quite good, and the colours in the movie are very bright and stimulating.
Also worth mentioning is the background of NYC skyscrapers. Especially nostalgic are the scenes of Chilly and Magick dancing at the World Trade Center. Most new movies are filmed in the unremarkable locations of Toronto and Vancouver.
I noticed you're from a nearby metropolitan area. I assume you must have discovered Body Rock at a Wal-Mart DVD bin for $5? I believe it is now out-of-print, so I regard my official copy as a collector's item.
Don't forget to study hard as a student of journalism. Check all your facts from 3 different credible sources (e.g., Wikipedia, the Internet and YouTube comments). Soon you will be out there writing the first draft of history. Come to think of it, you already are!
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Giga Update
Whenever I am away from the Blog, I think of cool things to write. But as soon as I sit in front of the Blog inpu box, I can't think of anything interesting to tell to you. Therefore, this is all you get.
I will try to accompany myself with a paper-form idea-capturing device as a blog pre-write "cache" for those times when I am not at one of these idea-communicating yet idea-suppressing computer peripherals.
I will try to accompany myself with a paper-form idea-capturing device as a blog pre-write "cache" for those times when I am not at one of these idea-communicating yet idea-suppressing computer peripherals.
Friday, August 8, 2008
The Burl Ives Post
Sometimes I can't think of anything interesting to write and/or blog about. This time is one of those times. It's times like these times that the following are together useful in generating online blog content:
I think the Odetta version is pretty good, too, if you like something a little more lively. (Perhaps I should have called this blog update "The Fox Post" or "The Burl Ives/Odetta Post".)
- personal musical preferences; and,
- YouTube embedded object technology.
I think the Odetta version is pretty good, too, if you like something a little more lively. (Perhaps I should have called this blog update "The Fox Post" or "The Burl Ives/Odetta Post".)
Sunday, August 3, 2008
A Loss Of Innocence Post
A loss of innocence occurs at a point in time when you were innocent before that point in time and not innocent after that point in time.
There are a lot of ways to gain a loss of innocence. One way is to lose your virginity. Another way is to drink some alcohol (ethanol) for the very first time. Yet another way is when a pet dies.
Up until this point in time, I have been innocent of making a post about losing innocence. I think it's about a point int time where I learn about the blogs and the bees and how to go forward and lose such innocence.
A loss of innocence is notable because you realize things will never be like they were before the loss. Say you lose your dominant arm and realize you will never write again. You have lost the innocence that you would be dominantly armful forever. Now you are dominantly armless. See what I mean?
But those aren't really very interesting ways for an innocent person to lose some innocence. What about the time I discovered when You Tube videos don't last forever? That was a heavy burden to bear.
The video in question was a comedy rap music video by Howie Mandel called "I Do The Watusi". I found it on a blog and remembered fondly hearing it a few times when it was released back in the 1980s. I added it to my You Tubes favourites section. I thought it would exist forever.
NOT TO BE! One day I went looking for it because it has funny lines like "a stinky turtle bites you in the ear". It was gone! I went back to the blog where I found it. NO! It turns out that when a You Tube video object disappears, it disappears from all the blogs, too!
I wasn't there when the library of Alexandria burned down, but I imagine my shock and dismay was a microcosmic twin of that experienced by Alexandria Library card holders.
So, everything seems hopeless. Fortunately, loss of innocence is always an unwitting yet fruitful sacrifice; in return, God provides something even more valuable in exchange: wisdom. I decided to use this newfound wisdom to enter search words into Youtube's video search feature text box and I found another copy of the old video! And here it is! (Note: the music video starts 4 minutes and 5 seconds into the You Tube Object.)
There are a lot of ways to gain a loss of innocence. One way is to lose your virginity. Another way is to drink some alcohol (ethanol) for the very first time. Yet another way is when a pet dies.
Up until this point in time, I have been innocent of making a post about losing innocence. I think it's about a point int time where I learn about the blogs and the bees and how to go forward and lose such innocence.
A loss of innocence is notable because you realize things will never be like they were before the loss. Say you lose your dominant arm and realize you will never write again. You have lost the innocence that you would be dominantly armful forever. Now you are dominantly armless. See what I mean?
But those aren't really very interesting ways for an innocent person to lose some innocence. What about the time I discovered when You Tube videos don't last forever? That was a heavy burden to bear.
The video in question was a comedy rap music video by Howie Mandel called "I Do The Watusi". I found it on a blog and remembered fondly hearing it a few times when it was released back in the 1980s. I added it to my You Tubes favourites section. I thought it would exist forever.
NOT TO BE! One day I went looking for it because it has funny lines like "a stinky turtle bites you in the ear". It was gone! I went back to the blog where I found it. NO! It turns out that when a You Tube video object disappears, it disappears from all the blogs, too!
I wasn't there when the library of Alexandria burned down, but I imagine my shock and dismay was a microcosmic twin of that experienced by Alexandria Library card holders.
So, everything seems hopeless. Fortunately, loss of innocence is always an unwitting yet fruitful sacrifice; in return, God provides something even more valuable in exchange: wisdom. I decided to use this newfound wisdom to enter search words into Youtube's video search feature text box and I found another copy of the old video! And here it is! (Note: the music video starts 4 minutes and 5 seconds into the You Tube Object.)
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Nitpicking The Chipmunks
If you're the kind of person who likes obscure, esoteric, and ridiculous minutae, have I got the blog post for you!
You probably know who or what The Chipmunks are as a novelty popular music cultural phenomenon. If you don't know this, here, allow me to make an Internet link to the Wikipedia page. When you right-click your right mouse button on the URL link, a Wikipedia page will fill your Internet Web Browser with information about The Chipmunks. You can then recycle this information in conversations with your unsuspecting victim(s); or you can keep the information in your brain bank and allow it to marinate and simmer like a cooking analogy where I compare the absorption of Chipmunk information to food preparation. The Chipmunks.
If you read this post and later find yourself in a conversation with someone who tries to regurgitate (note: continuing the food analogy there) the Wikipedia Chipmunk information at you, now you have the power of forethought to tell them: "You are making audio vibrations from your mouth that sound remarkably like Wikipedia information about The Chipmunks. Why don't you just tell me to go read Wikipedia? Is any of the content of this conversation actually relevant to anything other than fulfilling the ritualistic act of social interaction?"
So I looked at the label on the vinyl LP of A Chipmunk Christmas and noted that the time listed for the very last track of side 2 (two), We Wish You A Merry Christmas, as "6:34" (six minutes and thirty-four seconds). Well, that is COMPLETELY FALSE. In actuality, the track appears to be slightly less than 2 minutes.
Therefore, there is a mistake on the label of the A Chipmunk Christmas vinyl record. Until this time, you were probably unaware that this mistake existed. It was relatively original information. Now this mistake will be recorded in your brain synaptic connections and the next time you have a conversation about either The Chipmunks, mistakes on record labels, or both, this information may come to the surface of your consciousness. You can then blurt it out, and your conversation will stretch on even further. Other than conversation-stretching, this new information I've brought to light in the blogosphere is utterly useless.
You probably know who or what The Chipmunks are as a novelty popular music cultural phenomenon. If you don't know this, here, allow me to make an Internet link to the Wikipedia page. When you right-click your right mouse button on the URL link, a Wikipedia page will fill your Internet Web Browser with information about The Chipmunks. You can then recycle this information in conversations with your unsuspecting victim(s); or you can keep the information in your brain bank and allow it to marinate and simmer like a cooking analogy where I compare the absorption of Chipmunk information to food preparation. The Chipmunks.
If you read this post and later find yourself in a conversation with someone who tries to regurgitate (note: continuing the food analogy there) the Wikipedia Chipmunk information at you, now you have the power of forethought to tell them: "You are making audio vibrations from your mouth that sound remarkably like Wikipedia information about The Chipmunks. Why don't you just tell me to go read Wikipedia? Is any of the content of this conversation actually relevant to anything other than fulfilling the ritualistic act of social interaction?"
So I looked at the label on the vinyl LP of A Chipmunk Christmas and noted that the time listed for the very last track of side 2 (two), We Wish You A Merry Christmas, as "6:34" (six minutes and thirty-four seconds). Well, that is COMPLETELY FALSE. In actuality, the track appears to be slightly less than 2 minutes.
Therefore, there is a mistake on the label of the A Chipmunk Christmas vinyl record. Until this time, you were probably unaware that this mistake existed. It was relatively original information. Now this mistake will be recorded in your brain synaptic connections and the next time you have a conversation about either The Chipmunks, mistakes on record labels, or both, this information may come to the surface of your consciousness. You can then blurt it out, and your conversation will stretch on even further. Other than conversation-stretching, this new information I've brought to light in the blogosphere is utterly useless.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
This Blog Is More Than Just Embedded YouTube Objects, I Swear
You are STARVING for more blogging postings from me! The Show Must Go On!!!
A personal blogger is supposed to tell the International Internet what he/sh/it is up to. One word: Spinach! I planted spinach and it is excellent! I eat the spinach and it gives me the strength, the INCREDIBLE STRENGTH to make these incredible web blog updates!
My spinach also gives me the strength, determination and stamina to add more YouTube HypoText Made-Up Language (HTMUL) to my blog!
A personal blogger is supposed to tell the International Internet what he/sh/it is up to. One word: Spinach! I planted spinach and it is excellent! I eat the spinach and it gives me the strength, the INCREDIBLE STRENGTH to make these incredible web blog updates!
My spinach also gives me the strength, determination and stamina to add more YouTube HypoText Made-Up Language (HTMUL) to my blog!
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Post Twelve: Long Time, No See Protocol
Sometimes I think about protocol. A series of steps goes through my mind.
For instance, here's a protocol I know about: what you do when you see someone you haven't seen in a long time.
I'm not sure how to define "long time". One quarter, i.e. 3 months? Is that long enough? A semester? 12 months? One year or more? These are parameters that must be defined and agreed upon between the parties. Gosh, human relations are fun.
First of all, you must act surprised to see the person. I think the reason you are supposed to act surprised, aside from it being a behaviour expected, is that you were not expecting to see them. Statistically, because you hadn't seen them for so long, it seemed very unlikely that you would see them again. (Psychologists probably have a word for this. They probably came up with the word while applying electric shocks to animals, so I won't bother looking it up.)
Second, you have to act interested in what they have been doing with themselves. Mainly, you are interested in what they have done between a) the last time you saw them, and b) the present. You are interested in an abstract summary, particularly from a financial or human resources perspective, e.g. what have they been working on and have they created any new humans for the labour pool. You want to avoid minutae, e.g. the person may have shit in a toilet at least once daily since you last saw them but that is not a good topic. (Unless perhaps you were an oncologist who helped them beat colorectal cancer.)
Third, you have to reminisce about "old times". "Old times" may be defined as shared events that occured in the timespan between a) the time your first saw them ever and b) the last time you saw them. These "old times" occured when you were younger and less bitter about everything. At the time, you did not know that after life had revealed its hyped-up, superficial mysteries to you, you would discover what it really is: an absurd and unimaginable prison; a simulacrum smothering your senses to keep you from God; a place where you pay incessant monthly bills keeping your body comfortable with adequate food and shelter while you wait for its collapse. At amusement parks, you pay to go on rides that make you vomit; on the ride called life, you merely pay for the feeling of nausea and disorientation.
And that's what you do when you see someone you haven't seen for a long time. Now I am going to go take a shit and go to sleep. If I haven't seen you for a long time, here's what I've been up to: sleeping 6-8 hours/day; shitting daily; generally self-preserving while waiting for my end; and only getting the briefest glimpses of Divinity - sometimes I think they serve merely to remind me that I am in bland hell.
This has been the most depressing post ever written on World's Most Blog to date. It is also the twelth (12lth) in a series of updates made in July 2008. Just as there is no point to most things in life, there was no point enumerating these posted updates. Here now is another You Tube embedded video object. Because I think in a boring linear way, the videos content reflects a sentiment opposite that of this blog post.
For instance, here's a protocol I know about: what you do when you see someone you haven't seen in a long time.
I'm not sure how to define "long time". One quarter, i.e. 3 months? Is that long enough? A semester? 12 months? One year or more? These are parameters that must be defined and agreed upon between the parties. Gosh, human relations are fun.
First of all, you must act surprised to see the person. I think the reason you are supposed to act surprised, aside from it being a behaviour expected, is that you were not expecting to see them. Statistically, because you hadn't seen them for so long, it seemed very unlikely that you would see them again. (Psychologists probably have a word for this. They probably came up with the word while applying electric shocks to animals, so I won't bother looking it up.)
Second, you have to act interested in what they have been doing with themselves. Mainly, you are interested in what they have done between a) the last time you saw them, and b) the present. You are interested in an abstract summary, particularly from a financial or human resources perspective, e.g. what have they been working on and have they created any new humans for the labour pool. You want to avoid minutae, e.g. the person may have shit in a toilet at least once daily since you last saw them but that is not a good topic. (Unless perhaps you were an oncologist who helped them beat colorectal cancer.)
Third, you have to reminisce about "old times". "Old times" may be defined as shared events that occured in the timespan between a) the time your first saw them ever and b) the last time you saw them. These "old times" occured when you were younger and less bitter about everything. At the time, you did not know that after life had revealed its hyped-up, superficial mysteries to you, you would discover what it really is: an absurd and unimaginable prison; a simulacrum smothering your senses to keep you from God; a place where you pay incessant monthly bills keeping your body comfortable with adequate food and shelter while you wait for its collapse. At amusement parks, you pay to go on rides that make you vomit; on the ride called life, you merely pay for the feeling of nausea and disorientation.
And that's what you do when you see someone you haven't seen for a long time. Now I am going to go take a shit and go to sleep. If I haven't seen you for a long time, here's what I've been up to: sleeping 6-8 hours/day; shitting daily; generally self-preserving while waiting for my end; and only getting the briefest glimpses of Divinity - sometimes I think they serve merely to remind me that I am in bland hell.
This has been the most depressing post ever written on World's Most Blog to date. It is also the twelth (12lth) in a series of updates made in July 2008. Just as there is no point to most things in life, there was no point enumerating these posted updates. Here now is another You Tube embedded video object. Because I think in a boring linear way, the videos content reflects a sentiment opposite that of this blog post.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
July 2008 Post Number Eleven: World's Most Blog In Space!
I forgot to mention that the last update was number 10. I also did not give it a sub-title. How about... "In the Hood"? "The Beginning"? I like "The Final Beginning"... because that is paradoxical!
There was a movie called Ocean's Eleven. It starred Frank Sinatra, George Clooney, and probably someone else. People watched it. And now I present World's Most Blog July 2008 Post Eleven!
You probably didn't memorize every single cast member of Ocean's Eleven because you were too busy playing with your finger up your ass during the credits. If you are a heterosexual male, then I am going to challenge your masculinity by accusing you of being so aroused by Brad Pitt, Cesar Romero and the rest of those heisty hunks that it made you spelunk your digits up into your rectum and tickle your prostate in an oh so fey way. And because you tired yourself out, now you want me to hand your lazy fucking ass a link on a decorative, homosexual silver platter because it will save you time typing words into a Internet searching engine. "Oh, I'm so tired and lazy, oh, please, World's Most Blogger, please, can you give me an easy link so I only have to make a minimum of one (1) left-mouse-click to access a list of Ocean's Eleven cast members? Oh, because my finger is so tired from playing with my ass that I've developed painful Repetitive Stress Injury." Okay, if it will save your mouse from smelling even more like shit, here's the link.
I apologize immediately for the verbal abuse and foul language in the previous paragraph. It will not happen for the rest of this posted update.
I had another point for making this post. Look at me, abusing my readership right when I should be announcing: I got two (2) new readers! I know because I WATCH YOU ALL WITH MY LITTLE BROTHER, STAT COUNTER!
One of my new readers hails from Calgary, Alberta, Canada! Hello, Calgary! Yee-haw! Calgary is full of cattle and oil! Calgary has the Flames and the Herald and the urban sprawwwwl and the Calaway Park! Calgary has a lot of assets worth plenty of billions of dollars, but the most important fact I know about Calgary is that it has its first World's Most Blog reader! Whoever you are, YOU'RE #1! YOU'RE #1!
Next up, is Prince George, British Columbia. Welcome! I don't know much about Prince George. The most important detail about Prince George is that a Prince Georgian has read a post on my blog. I could learn more of their municipal statistics, but instead I went to You Tube and discovered that Prince George has so much more to offer, like suicidal downhill couch racing and sexy bikini gardening! And what I coincidence: time for more You Tube objects on the blog!
There was a movie called Ocean's Eleven. It starred Frank Sinatra, George Clooney, and probably someone else. People watched it. And now I present World's Most Blog July 2008 Post Eleven!
You probably didn't memorize every single cast member of Ocean's Eleven because you were too busy playing with your finger up your ass during the credits. If you are a heterosexual male, then I am going to challenge your masculinity by accusing you of being so aroused by Brad Pitt, Cesar Romero and the rest of those heisty hunks that it made you spelunk your digits up into your rectum and tickle your prostate in an oh so fey way. And because you tired yourself out, now you want me to hand your lazy fucking ass a link on a decorative, homosexual silver platter because it will save you time typing words into a Internet searching engine. "Oh, I'm so tired and lazy, oh, please, World's Most Blogger, please, can you give me an easy link so I only have to make a minimum of one (1) left-mouse-click to access a list of Ocean's Eleven cast members? Oh, because my finger is so tired from playing with my ass that I've developed painful Repetitive Stress Injury." Okay, if it will save your mouse from smelling even more like shit, here's the link.
I apologize immediately for the verbal abuse and foul language in the previous paragraph. It will not happen for the rest of this posted update.
I had another point for making this post. Look at me, abusing my readership right when I should be announcing: I got two (2) new readers! I know because I WATCH YOU ALL WITH MY LITTLE BROTHER, STAT COUNTER!
One of my new readers hails from Calgary, Alberta, Canada! Hello, Calgary! Yee-haw! Calgary is full of cattle and oil! Calgary has the Flames and the Herald and the urban sprawwwwl and the Calaway Park! Calgary has a lot of assets worth plenty of billions of dollars, but the most important fact I know about Calgary is that it has its first World's Most Blog reader! Whoever you are, YOU'RE #1! YOU'RE #1!
Next up, is Prince George, British Columbia. Welcome! I don't know much about Prince George. The most important detail about Prince George is that a Prince Georgian has read a post on my blog. I could learn more of their municipal statistics, but instead I went to You Tube and discovered that Prince George has so much more to offer, like suicidal downhill couch racing and sexy bikini gardening! And what I coincidence: time for more You Tube objects on the blog!
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Ways In Which This Blog Helps You With Basic Survival
Food: ...
Water: ...
Shelter: ...
Clothing: ...
However, if you only required hastily arranged internet word text to sustain your body at nominal health, this blog would probably do.
Water: ...
Shelter: ...
Clothing: ...
However, if you only required hastily arranged internet word text to sustain your body at nominal health, this blog would probably do.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
The Ninth Post: Even Less To Blog About
I was told by Canadian TV that because I have a blog, I am supposed to write something about the band Bare Naked Ladies. If you don't know what The Bare Naked Ladies is, you should maybe learn to use a searching engine which will locate more useful information for you than you will find in this online blog update. This is a "personal" blog, and while it is a World's Most Blog, it is not at all a tutorial on finding words on the Internet.
I don't listen to The Bare Naked Ladies. One of them has a "reality" TV show where he does bad jobs, and while that sounds like an interesting reality premise, I've only watched the reality commercials for it. Once they made a song about Kraft Dinner, but for me it it was more entertaining when Terrence & Phillip ate Kraft Dinner.
I am not sure if The Bare Naked Ladies band ever made a cover song of George Benson's "Give Me The Night", but a Ferrero Rocher commercial did! Although Ferrero Rocher is not much better than Bare Naked Ladies, Kraft Dinner is much better as is the original by George Benson.
I hope you liked this post, which is the ninth (9th) in a series of update made in the month of July 2008. This post also the first in a series of one update to have topical commentary on an extremely ephermeral event in popular culture history. This update also has Canadiana, meaning that it makes reference points relevant to a cultural region of the NAFTA North American Union known as "Canada". This posting is also the fourth in a series of posts made in a series of posts made in the month of July 2008 that has a You Tube Video object embedded in the post.
I don't listen to The Bare Naked Ladies. One of them has a "reality" TV show where he does bad jobs, and while that sounds like an interesting reality premise, I've only watched the reality commercials for it. Once they made a song about Kraft Dinner, but for me it it was more entertaining when Terrence & Phillip ate Kraft Dinner.
I am not sure if The Bare Naked Ladies band ever made a cover song of George Benson's "Give Me The Night", but a Ferrero Rocher commercial did! Although Ferrero Rocher is not much better than Bare Naked Ladies, Kraft Dinner is much better as is the original by George Benson.
I hope you liked this post, which is the ninth (9th) in a series of update made in the month of July 2008. This post also the first in a series of one update to have topical commentary on an extremely ephermeral event in popular culture history. This update also has Canadiana, meaning that it makes reference points relevant to a cultural region of the NAFTA North American Union known as "Canada". This posting is also the fourth in a series of posts made in a series of posts made in the month of July 2008 that has a You Tube Video object embedded in the post.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Really Lazy July Post Number 8
July is a hot, muggy month heavy with heat and humidity, and I don't have air conditioning. So I'm bout to cool off and watch Cool As Ice! Everybody Get Loose! Hey, that sounds like another excuse to embed one of the You Tube video objects onto my webblog! Because this blog is like Vanilla Ice's threads: there's just too many damn words on it.
This is the 8th in a series of web blog updates posted in the month of July 2008. It is also the 3rd in a series of web blog updates posted in the month of July 2008 to include an embedded YouTube video.
This is the 8th in a series of web blog updates posted in the month of July 2008. It is also the 3rd in a series of web blog updates posted in the month of July 2008 to include an embedded YouTube video.
Wordy Dishco Action (July 2008 Post Seven)
You know the smooth sounds you heard in my last post? Gosh darn (note: first time minced oaths used in this post), it will be hard to follow up that smoothness. Imagination, why you have me so hypnotized?
Until I think of some way to follow up that avalanche of smooth soulful sound from Leee John and Imagination, I am going to help clog the Internet with more personal information. I got the idea to write about personal matters from almost every other weblog I ever looked at. My personal experiences are important to me because I experienced them directly with crystal-clear analog clarity using all five of my senses, and then interpreted them with a background of thousands of memories stored in millions of brain cells - and now you get to experience them vicariously through several hundred wildly inadequate words!
Anyway, these last few days and night I let dishes build up in the sink until I was forced to improvise with not-oft-used utensils like plastic scoops from cans of green vegetable powders and a scraper I used to stir spaghetti and sauce. Not a good situation, unless your goal in life is to use instruments of food preparation improperly. So tonight I'm tackling the dishes. Over 50% clean so far!
I applied for another student loan this year. My education has got me far enough along to not only wash dishes (involving lots of physics) and post You Tube videos on a Internet blog (involving lots of using a com-pu-tor), but also I can manage a student loan application! Might as well keep up with this learning!
And another thing: I saw a fucking beautiful wild owl yesterday. (It is worth using "fucking" in this paragraph. Fucking. Ok, that last one was completely super-fucking-fluous. And that one.) It flew out of the woods and up to the top of the tree, just to make its presence known.
Owls are symbolic of knowledge. Not only capable of seeing in the dark - perceiving through the darkness of ignorance - owls can also turn their heads 360 degrees - like a library, allowing them to perceive all there is around them. It is a little too weird that an owl flew out of the trees for me the day before starting my student loan application. (I started the application, not the owl. I mean, I started the application, but I didn't start the owl. I may have startled the owl, though.)
Sad personal news: I'm infatuated with someone I'd never have a chance with. I held out a fantasy that something would happen, but I found out the subject of my attraction is with another. That made me feel all weird in my chest. All this within days of seeing the owl and doing my student loan application. What does it all mean? If not nothing, then...
Wow, God hasn't talked to me this much for over 5 months. I'm not entirely sure about the message. I assume it's something like, "don't worry about unrequited earth love, the only real love is My love, so be less superficial and keep working on your brain and spirit, and oh look here's a cool predatory bird in a tree to tie all the threads together". Birds, by their ability to fly, also represent the possibility of escape from the earth, ie. the material world that has trapped me and largely prevents me from directly experiencing God's love. I don't think that doing dishes figures into the mix, though, unless I want to read baptism/cleansing into it somehow.
Well, that was a lot of time wasted adding personal balloon juice to the Internet Web Clogosphere, ranging from mundane anecdotes about cleaning chores and completing forms to sexual attractions to higher spiritual insights... or was it? Because along the way I think I found adequate content to follow up the last post!
This is the seventh in a series of clog/blog posts I am adding to the Internet in the month of July 2008. I am going to be foolhardy and click Blogger's Publish Post button now.
Until I think of some way to follow up that avalanche of smooth soulful sound from Leee John and Imagination, I am going to help clog the Internet with more personal information. I got the idea to write about personal matters from almost every other weblog I ever looked at. My personal experiences are important to me because I experienced them directly with crystal-clear analog clarity using all five of my senses, and then interpreted them with a background of thousands of memories stored in millions of brain cells - and now you get to experience them vicariously through several hundred wildly inadequate words!
Anyway, these last few days and night I let dishes build up in the sink until I was forced to improvise with not-oft-used utensils like plastic scoops from cans of green vegetable powders and a scraper I used to stir spaghetti and sauce. Not a good situation, unless your goal in life is to use instruments of food preparation improperly. So tonight I'm tackling the dishes. Over 50% clean so far!
I applied for another student loan this year. My education has got me far enough along to not only wash dishes (involving lots of physics) and post You Tube videos on a Internet blog (involving lots of using a com-pu-tor), but also I can manage a student loan application! Might as well keep up with this learning!
And another thing: I saw a fucking beautiful wild owl yesterday. (It is worth using "fucking" in this paragraph. Fucking. Ok, that last one was completely super-fucking-fluous. And that one.) It flew out of the woods and up to the top of the tree, just to make its presence known.
Owls are symbolic of knowledge. Not only capable of seeing in the dark - perceiving through the darkness of ignorance - owls can also turn their heads 360 degrees - like a library, allowing them to perceive all there is around them. It is a little too weird that an owl flew out of the trees for me the day before starting my student loan application. (I started the application, not the owl. I mean, I started the application, but I didn't start the owl. I may have startled the owl, though.)
Sad personal news: I'm infatuated with someone I'd never have a chance with. I held out a fantasy that something would happen, but I found out the subject of my attraction is with another. That made me feel all weird in my chest. All this within days of seeing the owl and doing my student loan application. What does it all mean? If not nothing, then...
Wow, God hasn't talked to me this much for over 5 months. I'm not entirely sure about the message. I assume it's something like, "don't worry about unrequited earth love, the only real love is My love, so be less superficial and keep working on your brain and spirit, and oh look here's a cool predatory bird in a tree to tie all the threads together". Birds, by their ability to fly, also represent the possibility of escape from the earth, ie. the material world that has trapped me and largely prevents me from directly experiencing God's love. I don't think that doing dishes figures into the mix, though, unless I want to read baptism/cleansing into it somehow.
Well, that was a lot of time wasted adding personal balloon juice to the Internet Web Clogosphere, ranging from mundane anecdotes about cleaning chores and completing forms to sexual attractions to higher spiritual insights... or was it? Because along the way I think I found adequate content to follow up the last post!
This is the seventh in a series of clog/blog posts I am adding to the Internet in the month of July 2008. I am going to be foolhardy and click Blogger's Publish Post button now.
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Number Five! Look Up
On Canadian televisions there used to be a children's program called The Friendly Giant, starring a Giant, a giraffe, a rooster, a drawbridge, and some miniature furniature in a castle. The show was about interior decoration because it revolved around The Giant rearranging the furniature every show. Sort of like how Coronation Street is about alcoholism. Anyway, you could tell The Giant was Friendly because he did not destroy the furniature nor did he slaughter the giraffee or the rooster. In fact, The Giant was quite amiable and amicable. However, the show might as well have been about inferior decoration because the furniature was rather sparse and Giant never really developed any good concepts. But the show was only 15 minutes long, and as Noam Chomsky has pointed out, it is difficult to challenge dominant ideas -i.e., dominant interior decoration ideas - in a short time frame, so maybe that was also part of Giant's limitations.
Production values also proved to be a barrier. To get around this, the Canadian state television hired mentally challenged camera operators at dirt cheap wages. However, they proved to be quite poor at remembering basic direction. Thus, every show the Giant would remind them to "Look Up, Look Way Up" to bring his mug into frame.
Well, I want you to Look Up, Look Way Up to the top of my blog: I've changed words up there! Now we see that this is now the "The funniest World's Most Blog you've never read on purpose"! Also, I've changed the title to "World's Moist Blog"! WTF does that mean?
The truth of it is, I have been misspelling "furniature" all wrong for the entirety of this post, and a more accurate account of The Friendly Giant can be found on the Internet.
This is magic number 5 in a series of posts I am making in the month of July, 2008.
Production values also proved to be a barrier. To get around this, the Canadian state television hired mentally challenged camera operators at dirt cheap wages. However, they proved to be quite poor at remembering basic direction. Thus, every show the Giant would remind them to "Look Up, Look Way Up" to bring his mug into frame.
Well, I want you to Look Up, Look Way Up to the top of my blog: I've changed words up there! Now we see that this is now the "The funniest World's Most Blog you've never read on purpose"! Also, I've changed the title to "World's Moist Blog"! WTF does that mean?
The truth of it is, I have been misspelling "furniature" all wrong for the entirety of this post, and a more accurate account of The Friendly Giant can be found on the Internet.
This is magic number 5 in a series of posts I am making in the month of July, 2008.
Friday, July 11, 2008
Desperation
Must... put... more... words... on... in... ter... net...
Must... compose... more... blog... content... with... words... and... ellipsis... abuse... before... it'... s... too... late...
Must... use... mouse... to... left-... click... Publish... Post... button... aaaahhhhhhh.
UPDATE: Obviously, this is the fourth in a series of web blogging posts I'm am doing in July of 2008. I neglected to mention that in the Title of this blog post because I was trying and failing very hard to be funny. Must... not... delete... embarrassingly... unfunny... web... blog... post...
Must... compose... more... blog... content... with... words... and... ellipsis... abuse... before... it'... s... too... late...
Must... use... mouse... to... left-... click... Publish... Post... button... aaaahhhhhhh.
UPDATE: Obviously, this is the fourth in a series of web blogging posts I'm am doing in July of 2008. I neglected to mention that in the Title of this blog post because I was trying and failing very hard to be funny. Must... not... delete... embarrassingly... unfunny... web... blog... post...
Second Lazy Yet Intimate Web Blog Post of July 2008
This blogger posting is part of a series of blog posts done in the month of July 2008. This text is in gray, sometimes known as grey. This is the first time I have used grey/gray text colour on the blog.
Can you imagine if I read this blog aloud? Yes, you can! If you have Text-To-Speech software installed on a computer somewhere, like on the internet computer you are using right now to look at the World's Most Blog, you can tell it to read the words that is comin' out of my blog and hear it in a variety of different voices! Imagine that I sound like Microsoft Sam! Now you know. Now you know! If you've imagined that you are listening to this blog read aloud by a TTS software application package, you are half-way to imagining me reading this aloud. Aloud. With italics.
But seriously, let's get personal. Allow me to reveal intimate informational details on the Internet: I have private parts. I have a computer connected to the Internet and I have private parts connected to my body. Through the magic of intelligent evolution and the magic of the computer revolution, I can magically use my fingers (also connected to my body... and sometimes connected to my private parts, yes, yes...) to inform you of these juicy details.
If you have private parts like mine, then you have an idea of my private parts. If you don't have private parts like mine, but you have familiarized yourself with the private parts of someone else that are generally like mine, then you have an idea of my private parts. Otherwise, you will have to use the corrupt, seedy Internet to research other private parts similar to mine. OMG I can't believe I just typed that! Imagine... if I read it out loud...
Wow, isn't it exciting to reveal intimate information on the internet for an international audience? What would be really interesting is if I used my private parts to enter an internet blog posting. That would make an interesting mememe, if anyone actually read this blog. Google Spider Program, would you care to spread this mememe for me?
I don't like that last paragraph in this online web log update. Somewhere between the 2nd and 3rd paragraph I typed, this blog post fell apart into nonsense. In case you were wondering, this blog update was entered entirely using my fingers, not my private parts. And in case you were wondering, this is a different shade of grey/gray than was used at the top of this post, and also this is the first time I have ever used this shade of gray/grey on the blog.
Can you imagine if I read this blog aloud? Yes, you can! If you have Text-To-Speech software installed on a computer somewhere, like on the internet computer you are using right now to look at the World's Most Blog, you can tell it to read the words that is comin' out of my blog and hear it in a variety of different voices! Imagine that I sound like Microsoft Sam! Now you know. Now you know! If you've imagined that you are listening to this blog read aloud by a TTS software application package, you are half-way to imagining me reading this aloud. Aloud. With italics.
But seriously, let's get personal. Allow me to reveal intimate informational details on the Internet: I have private parts. I have a computer connected to the Internet and I have private parts connected to my body. Through the magic of intelligent evolution and the magic of the computer revolution, I can magically use my fingers (also connected to my body... and sometimes connected to my private parts, yes, yes...) to inform you of these juicy details.
If you have private parts like mine, then you have an idea of my private parts. If you don't have private parts like mine, but you have familiarized yourself with the private parts of someone else that are generally like mine, then you have an idea of my private parts. Otherwise, you will have to use the corrupt, seedy Internet to research other private parts similar to mine. OMG I can't believe I just typed that! Imagine... if I read it out loud...
Wow, isn't it exciting to reveal intimate information on the internet for an international audience? What would be really interesting is if I used my private parts to enter an internet blog posting. That would make an interesting mememe, if anyone actually read this blog. Google Spider Program, would you care to spread this mememe for me?
I don't like that last paragraph in this online web log update. Somewhere between the 2nd and 3rd paragraph I typed, this blog post fell apart into nonsense. In case you were wondering, this blog update was entered entirely using my fingers, not my private parts. And in case you were wondering, this is a different shade of grey/gray than was used at the top of this post, and also this is the first time I have ever used this shade of gray/grey on the blog.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
This Is A Thinking Man's Blog
Ponder this: Am I blog-ging?... Or is the blog me-ing?
Think about it. Makes you think, don't it? Really makes you wonder what it's all about, doesn't it. Yep.
Think about it. Makes you think, don't it? Really makes you wonder what it's all about, doesn't it. Yep.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Short N Sweet
I'm trying to figure out whether I care if anyone reads this blog. But I'm not trying very hard.
I'm thinking about when I will change the title of this internet blog back to "World's Most Blog" from "World's Mocst Blog", changed temporarily in honour of the silent "c" in Connecticut. But I'm not thinking much about it.
I'm considering whether the Internet's World's Most Blog will ever have a different official flower from the Mountain Laurel. But my consideration doesn't lend itself to being a good example of discipline or determination in contemplation.
I'm typing words for this weblog posting. But those words... are numbered. They cannot last... forever. Ellipses... can be abused... right here.
I'm about to press the "Publish Post" button on Blogger's Create Post Compose Box. I will press it ever so slightly.
Hey, I just noticed that Blog Spot is an anagram for Blog Post. Weird.
I'm thinking about when I will change the title of this internet blog back to "World's Most Blog" from "World's Mocst Blog", changed temporarily in honour of the silent "c" in Connecticut. But I'm not thinking much about it.
I'm considering whether the Internet's World's Most Blog will ever have a different official flower from the Mountain Laurel. But my consideration doesn't lend itself to being a good example of discipline or determination in contemplation.
I'm typing words for this weblog posting. But those words... are numbered. They cannot last... forever. Ellipses... can be abused... right here.
I'm about to press the "Publish Post" button on Blogger's Create Post Compose Box. I will press it ever so slightly.
Hey, I just noticed that Blog Spot is an anagram for Blog Post. Weird.
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