Showing posts with label keyword abuse. Show all posts
Showing posts with label keyword abuse. Show all posts
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Friday, April 3, 2009
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Text Character Entry Blogistics
NOTE: Unless otherwise noted, all of the letters and words and digits and other character text glyphs you are seeing that is coming out of my blog onto your computer screen was generated when I told my brain to tell my hands: "press buttons on a computer typing keyboard." Should an electronic or non-electronic tool (or non-tool) other than a computer typing keyboard be used to drop my deep vocabulary into these World's Most content boxes, I will make note of it and you'll be the first to know of it.
NOTE: All text on this part of the Internet is used to signify the existence of content here. The author is not responsible for the other part.
NOTE: All of the time, a clicking mouse was used when I told my brain to give you the finger on the right mouse button to "Save Now" in Blogger Create Post. Can you imagine if there was no Create Post? The blog would not have any posts! AAAAAHHHHH! Consider the thing!!! In the future, some of the time, a clicking mouse may not be used to "Save Now".
NOTE: Because I told my brain to tell digits and muscles and tendons (the levers and hydrolics of the human arms) to manipulate information entry devices to create the blogging content, all original blog content is the property of my soul. Weird! All unoriginal content on this blog does not belong to my soul. Huh?
NOTE: All text on this part of the Internet is used to signify the existence of content here. The author is not responsible for the other part.
NOTE: All of the time, a clicking mouse was used when I told my brain to give you the finger on the right mouse button to "Save Now" in Blogger Create Post. Can you imagine if there was no Create Post? The blog would not have any posts! AAAAAHHHHH! Consider the thing!!! In the future, some of the time, a clicking mouse may not be used to "Save Now".
NOTE: Because I told my brain to tell digits and muscles and tendons (the levers and hydrolics of the human arms) to manipulate information entry devices to create the blogging content, all original blog content is the property of my soul. Weird! All unoriginal content on this blog does not belong to my soul. Huh?
Friday, August 1, 2008
I Let Statcounter Decide
According to Little Brother Stat Counter, I have a repeat reader!!!* I am going to play nice, not reveal where they are from and refrain from embarrassing them - because that's mean. Their presence has been previously documented on this Internet blog.
Wow, this is boring content. This online blog post will not make it into my theorized Best Of list, which I have no plan on making.
Let's pretend that I actually wrote something that made you excited, made you angry, made you think and/or made you cry. Stare at this post intently for at least 5 minutes and visualize whatever imagery you feel is most resonant to your deepest being, transforming you into your ideal self and transporting you to the archetypal times and places where you would feel most alive.
Now it's no longer my responsibility if you find this blog update boring.
* Not counting myself, who is also a repeat reader.
Wow, this is boring content. This online blog post will not make it into my theorized Best Of list, which I have no plan on making.
Let's pretend that I actually wrote something that made you excited, made you angry, made you think and/or made you cry. Stare at this post intently for at least 5 minutes and visualize whatever imagery you feel is most resonant to your deepest being, transforming you into your ideal self and transporting you to the archetypal times and places where you would feel most alive.
Now it's no longer my responsibility if you find this blog update boring.
* Not counting myself, who is also a repeat reader.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Nitpicking The Chipmunks
If you're the kind of person who likes obscure, esoteric, and ridiculous minutae, have I got the blog post for you!
You probably know who or what The Chipmunks are as a novelty popular music cultural phenomenon. If you don't know this, here, allow me to make an Internet link to the Wikipedia page. When you right-click your right mouse button on the URL link, a Wikipedia page will fill your Internet Web Browser with information about The Chipmunks. You can then recycle this information in conversations with your unsuspecting victim(s); or you can keep the information in your brain bank and allow it to marinate and simmer like a cooking analogy where I compare the absorption of Chipmunk information to food preparation. The Chipmunks.
If you read this post and later find yourself in a conversation with someone who tries to regurgitate (note: continuing the food analogy there) the Wikipedia Chipmunk information at you, now you have the power of forethought to tell them: "You are making audio vibrations from your mouth that sound remarkably like Wikipedia information about The Chipmunks. Why don't you just tell me to go read Wikipedia? Is any of the content of this conversation actually relevant to anything other than fulfilling the ritualistic act of social interaction?"
So I looked at the label on the vinyl LP of A Chipmunk Christmas and noted that the time listed for the very last track of side 2 (two), We Wish You A Merry Christmas, as "6:34" (six minutes and thirty-four seconds). Well, that is COMPLETELY FALSE. In actuality, the track appears to be slightly less than 2 minutes.
Therefore, there is a mistake on the label of the A Chipmunk Christmas vinyl record. Until this time, you were probably unaware that this mistake existed. It was relatively original information. Now this mistake will be recorded in your brain synaptic connections and the next time you have a conversation about either The Chipmunks, mistakes on record labels, or both, this information may come to the surface of your consciousness. You can then blurt it out, and your conversation will stretch on even further. Other than conversation-stretching, this new information I've brought to light in the blogosphere is utterly useless.
You probably know who or what The Chipmunks are as a novelty popular music cultural phenomenon. If you don't know this, here, allow me to make an Internet link to the Wikipedia page. When you right-click your right mouse button on the URL link, a Wikipedia page will fill your Internet Web Browser with information about The Chipmunks. You can then recycle this information in conversations with your unsuspecting victim(s); or you can keep the information in your brain bank and allow it to marinate and simmer like a cooking analogy where I compare the absorption of Chipmunk information to food preparation. The Chipmunks.
If you read this post and later find yourself in a conversation with someone who tries to regurgitate (note: continuing the food analogy there) the Wikipedia Chipmunk information at you, now you have the power of forethought to tell them: "You are making audio vibrations from your mouth that sound remarkably like Wikipedia information about The Chipmunks. Why don't you just tell me to go read Wikipedia? Is any of the content of this conversation actually relevant to anything other than fulfilling the ritualistic act of social interaction?"
So I looked at the label on the vinyl LP of A Chipmunk Christmas and noted that the time listed for the very last track of side 2 (two), We Wish You A Merry Christmas, as "6:34" (six minutes and thirty-four seconds). Well, that is COMPLETELY FALSE. In actuality, the track appears to be slightly less than 2 minutes.
Therefore, there is a mistake on the label of the A Chipmunk Christmas vinyl record. Until this time, you were probably unaware that this mistake existed. It was relatively original information. Now this mistake will be recorded in your brain synaptic connections and the next time you have a conversation about either The Chipmunks, mistakes on record labels, or both, this information may come to the surface of your consciousness. You can then blurt it out, and your conversation will stretch on even further. Other than conversation-stretching, this new information I've brought to light in the blogosphere is utterly useless.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Post Twelve: Long Time, No See Protocol
Sometimes I think about protocol. A series of steps goes through my mind.
For instance, here's a protocol I know about: what you do when you see someone you haven't seen in a long time.
I'm not sure how to define "long time". One quarter, i.e. 3 months? Is that long enough? A semester? 12 months? One year or more? These are parameters that must be defined and agreed upon between the parties. Gosh, human relations are fun.
First of all, you must act surprised to see the person. I think the reason you are supposed to act surprised, aside from it being a behaviour expected, is that you were not expecting to see them. Statistically, because you hadn't seen them for so long, it seemed very unlikely that you would see them again. (Psychologists probably have a word for this. They probably came up with the word while applying electric shocks to animals, so I won't bother looking it up.)
Second, you have to act interested in what they have been doing with themselves. Mainly, you are interested in what they have done between a) the last time you saw them, and b) the present. You are interested in an abstract summary, particularly from a financial or human resources perspective, e.g. what have they been working on and have they created any new humans for the labour pool. You want to avoid minutae, e.g. the person may have shit in a toilet at least once daily since you last saw them but that is not a good topic. (Unless perhaps you were an oncologist who helped them beat colorectal cancer.)
Third, you have to reminisce about "old times". "Old times" may be defined as shared events that occured in the timespan between a) the time your first saw them ever and b) the last time you saw them. These "old times" occured when you were younger and less bitter about everything. At the time, you did not know that after life had revealed its hyped-up, superficial mysteries to you, you would discover what it really is: an absurd and unimaginable prison; a simulacrum smothering your senses to keep you from God; a place where you pay incessant monthly bills keeping your body comfortable with adequate food and shelter while you wait for its collapse. At amusement parks, you pay to go on rides that make you vomit; on the ride called life, you merely pay for the feeling of nausea and disorientation.
And that's what you do when you see someone you haven't seen for a long time. Now I am going to go take a shit and go to sleep. If I haven't seen you for a long time, here's what I've been up to: sleeping 6-8 hours/day; shitting daily; generally self-preserving while waiting for my end; and only getting the briefest glimpses of Divinity - sometimes I think they serve merely to remind me that I am in bland hell.
This has been the most depressing post ever written on World's Most Blog to date. It is also the twelth (12lth) in a series of updates made in July 2008. Just as there is no point to most things in life, there was no point enumerating these posted updates. Here now is another You Tube embedded video object. Because I think in a boring linear way, the videos content reflects a sentiment opposite that of this blog post.
For instance, here's a protocol I know about: what you do when you see someone you haven't seen in a long time.
I'm not sure how to define "long time". One quarter, i.e. 3 months? Is that long enough? A semester? 12 months? One year or more? These are parameters that must be defined and agreed upon between the parties. Gosh, human relations are fun.
First of all, you must act surprised to see the person. I think the reason you are supposed to act surprised, aside from it being a behaviour expected, is that you were not expecting to see them. Statistically, because you hadn't seen them for so long, it seemed very unlikely that you would see them again. (Psychologists probably have a word for this. They probably came up with the word while applying electric shocks to animals, so I won't bother looking it up.)
Second, you have to act interested in what they have been doing with themselves. Mainly, you are interested in what they have done between a) the last time you saw them, and b) the present. You are interested in an abstract summary, particularly from a financial or human resources perspective, e.g. what have they been working on and have they created any new humans for the labour pool. You want to avoid minutae, e.g. the person may have shit in a toilet at least once daily since you last saw them but that is not a good topic. (Unless perhaps you were an oncologist who helped them beat colorectal cancer.)
Third, you have to reminisce about "old times". "Old times" may be defined as shared events that occured in the timespan between a) the time your first saw them ever and b) the last time you saw them. These "old times" occured when you were younger and less bitter about everything. At the time, you did not know that after life had revealed its hyped-up, superficial mysteries to you, you would discover what it really is: an absurd and unimaginable prison; a simulacrum smothering your senses to keep you from God; a place where you pay incessant monthly bills keeping your body comfortable with adequate food and shelter while you wait for its collapse. At amusement parks, you pay to go on rides that make you vomit; on the ride called life, you merely pay for the feeling of nausea and disorientation.
And that's what you do when you see someone you haven't seen for a long time. Now I am going to go take a shit and go to sleep. If I haven't seen you for a long time, here's what I've been up to: sleeping 6-8 hours/day; shitting daily; generally self-preserving while waiting for my end; and only getting the briefest glimpses of Divinity - sometimes I think they serve merely to remind me that I am in bland hell.
This has been the most depressing post ever written on World's Most Blog to date. It is also the twelth (12lth) in a series of updates made in July 2008. Just as there is no point to most things in life, there was no point enumerating these posted updates. Here now is another You Tube embedded video object. Because I think in a boring linear way, the videos content reflects a sentiment opposite that of this blog post.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Wordy Dishco Action (July 2008 Post Seven)
You know the smooth sounds you heard in my last post? Gosh darn (note: first time minced oaths used in this post), it will be hard to follow up that smoothness. Imagination, why you have me so hypnotized?
Until I think of some way to follow up that avalanche of smooth soulful sound from Leee John and Imagination, I am going to help clog the Internet with more personal information. I got the idea to write about personal matters from almost every other weblog I ever looked at. My personal experiences are important to me because I experienced them directly with crystal-clear analog clarity using all five of my senses, and then interpreted them with a background of thousands of memories stored in millions of brain cells - and now you get to experience them vicariously through several hundred wildly inadequate words!
Anyway, these last few days and night I let dishes build up in the sink until I was forced to improvise with not-oft-used utensils like plastic scoops from cans of green vegetable powders and a scraper I used to stir spaghetti and sauce. Not a good situation, unless your goal in life is to use instruments of food preparation improperly. So tonight I'm tackling the dishes. Over 50% clean so far!
I applied for another student loan this year. My education has got me far enough along to not only wash dishes (involving lots of physics) and post You Tube videos on a Internet blog (involving lots of using a com-pu-tor), but also I can manage a student loan application! Might as well keep up with this learning!
And another thing: I saw a fucking beautiful wild owl yesterday. (It is worth using "fucking" in this paragraph. Fucking. Ok, that last one was completely super-fucking-fluous. And that one.) It flew out of the woods and up to the top of the tree, just to make its presence known.
Owls are symbolic of knowledge. Not only capable of seeing in the dark - perceiving through the darkness of ignorance - owls can also turn their heads 360 degrees - like a library, allowing them to perceive all there is around them. It is a little too weird that an owl flew out of the trees for me the day before starting my student loan application. (I started the application, not the owl. I mean, I started the application, but I didn't start the owl. I may have startled the owl, though.)
Sad personal news: I'm infatuated with someone I'd never have a chance with. I held out a fantasy that something would happen, but I found out the subject of my attraction is with another. That made me feel all weird in my chest. All this within days of seeing the owl and doing my student loan application. What does it all mean? If not nothing, then...
Wow, God hasn't talked to me this much for over 5 months. I'm not entirely sure about the message. I assume it's something like, "don't worry about unrequited earth love, the only real love is My love, so be less superficial and keep working on your brain and spirit, and oh look here's a cool predatory bird in a tree to tie all the threads together". Birds, by their ability to fly, also represent the possibility of escape from the earth, ie. the material world that has trapped me and largely prevents me from directly experiencing God's love. I don't think that doing dishes figures into the mix, though, unless I want to read baptism/cleansing into it somehow.
Well, that was a lot of time wasted adding personal balloon juice to the Internet Web Clogosphere, ranging from mundane anecdotes about cleaning chores and completing forms to sexual attractions to higher spiritual insights... or was it? Because along the way I think I found adequate content to follow up the last post!
This is the seventh in a series of clog/blog posts I am adding to the Internet in the month of July 2008. I am going to be foolhardy and click Blogger's Publish Post button now.
Until I think of some way to follow up that avalanche of smooth soulful sound from Leee John and Imagination, I am going to help clog the Internet with more personal information. I got the idea to write about personal matters from almost every other weblog I ever looked at. My personal experiences are important to me because I experienced them directly with crystal-clear analog clarity using all five of my senses, and then interpreted them with a background of thousands of memories stored in millions of brain cells - and now you get to experience them vicariously through several hundred wildly inadequate words!
Anyway, these last few days and night I let dishes build up in the sink until I was forced to improvise with not-oft-used utensils like plastic scoops from cans of green vegetable powders and a scraper I used to stir spaghetti and sauce. Not a good situation, unless your goal in life is to use instruments of food preparation improperly. So tonight I'm tackling the dishes. Over 50% clean so far!
I applied for another student loan this year. My education has got me far enough along to not only wash dishes (involving lots of physics) and post You Tube videos on a Internet blog (involving lots of using a com-pu-tor), but also I can manage a student loan application! Might as well keep up with this learning!
And another thing: I saw a fucking beautiful wild owl yesterday. (It is worth using "fucking" in this paragraph. Fucking. Ok, that last one was completely super-fucking-fluous. And that one.) It flew out of the woods and up to the top of the tree, just to make its presence known.
Owls are symbolic of knowledge. Not only capable of seeing in the dark - perceiving through the darkness of ignorance - owls can also turn their heads 360 degrees - like a library, allowing them to perceive all there is around them. It is a little too weird that an owl flew out of the trees for me the day before starting my student loan application. (I started the application, not the owl. I mean, I started the application, but I didn't start the owl. I may have startled the owl, though.)
Sad personal news: I'm infatuated with someone I'd never have a chance with. I held out a fantasy that something would happen, but I found out the subject of my attraction is with another. That made me feel all weird in my chest. All this within days of seeing the owl and doing my student loan application. What does it all mean? If not nothing, then...
Wow, God hasn't talked to me this much for over 5 months. I'm not entirely sure about the message. I assume it's something like, "don't worry about unrequited earth love, the only real love is My love, so be less superficial and keep working on your brain and spirit, and oh look here's a cool predatory bird in a tree to tie all the threads together". Birds, by their ability to fly, also represent the possibility of escape from the earth, ie. the material world that has trapped me and largely prevents me from directly experiencing God's love. I don't think that doing dishes figures into the mix, though, unless I want to read baptism/cleansing into it somehow.
Well, that was a lot of time wasted adding personal balloon juice to the Internet Web Clogosphere, ranging from mundane anecdotes about cleaning chores and completing forms to sexual attractions to higher spiritual insights... or was it? Because along the way I think I found adequate content to follow up the last post!
This is the seventh in a series of clog/blog posts I am adding to the Internet in the month of July 2008. I am going to be foolhardy and click Blogger's Publish Post button now.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Short N Sweet
I'm trying to figure out whether I care if anyone reads this blog. But I'm not trying very hard.
I'm thinking about when I will change the title of this internet blog back to "World's Most Blog" from "World's Mocst Blog", changed temporarily in honour of the silent "c" in Connecticut. But I'm not thinking much about it.
I'm considering whether the Internet's World's Most Blog will ever have a different official flower from the Mountain Laurel. But my consideration doesn't lend itself to being a good example of discipline or determination in contemplation.
I'm typing words for this weblog posting. But those words... are numbered. They cannot last... forever. Ellipses... can be abused... right here.
I'm about to press the "Publish Post" button on Blogger's Create Post Compose Box. I will press it ever so slightly.
Hey, I just noticed that Blog Spot is an anagram for Blog Post. Weird.
I'm thinking about when I will change the title of this internet blog back to "World's Most Blog" from "World's Mocst Blog", changed temporarily in honour of the silent "c" in Connecticut. But I'm not thinking much about it.
I'm considering whether the Internet's World's Most Blog will ever have a different official flower from the Mountain Laurel. But my consideration doesn't lend itself to being a good example of discipline or determination in contemplation.
I'm typing words for this weblog posting. But those words... are numbered. They cannot last... forever. Ellipses... can be abused... right here.
I'm about to press the "Publish Post" button on Blogger's Create Post Compose Box. I will press it ever so slightly.
Hey, I just noticed that Blog Spot is an anagram for Blog Post. Weird.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
World's Most Post
I've already announced that this is a World's Most Blog. With that in mind, if you're reading this - and I think you are - you may be wondering: is there a World's Most Post in the World's Most Blog? That's a good question to wonder.
To put an answer to your wonderment: this is it! This is the World's Most Post - arguably a World's Most Post - on World's Most Blog! Enjoy it - that's why I wrote it!
Now, if I didn't explicitly write a World's Most Post (that's this one), it would have been a disservice to my readership - namely:
To be sure, this is only a World's Most Post - there might be others. Also, this is only a World's Most Post on World's Most Blog. Other computer blogs might have their own World's Most Posts. Some web blogs might have more than one World's Most Post. It can get confusing. This is what content management is for.
So make sure to add this to your online browsers' list of bookmarks for ease of reference. (Do this for all internet browsing programs.) I will also add it to the Side Bar for you.
To put an answer to your wonderment: this is it! This is the World's Most Post - arguably a World's Most Post - on World's Most Blog! Enjoy it - that's why I wrote it!
Now, if I didn't explicitly write a World's Most Post (that's this one), it would have been a disservice to my readership - namely:
- me (#1 Reader! I'm #1!)
- the Google indexing spider crawler
- 2 random computer users from Australia and Connecticut who accidentally browsed by
To be sure, this is only a World's Most Post - there might be others. Also, this is only a World's Most Post on World's Most Blog. Other computer blogs might have their own World's Most Posts. Some web blogs might have more than one World's Most Post. It can get confusing. This is what content management is for.
So make sure to add this to your online browsers' list of bookmarks for ease of reference. (Do this for all internet browsing programs.) I will also add it to the Side Bar for you.
Monday, June 16, 2008
Australia Rules
I've been writing this blog for a while now, at least since late May 2008. Some people have been making blogs even longer than that!
Checking my Stat Counter statistic counter, I find that I am still the #1 reader of my blog. I'M #1!!! I'M #1 AT SOMETHING!
Close at #2 is Google's search engine. Google's search engine is found here. But I don't think Google's search engine is a real person.
I was absolutely delighted when Stat Counter told me today that there's a new entrant in the race to see who can read my blog! And according to Stat Counter, they hail from Australia!
Hello, Australia! G'Day, Mate! Your computer signals travelled halfway across the world to the land up over to see my Canadian webblog. In case you're feeling homesick, here's this David Bowie video to remind you of home.
Talk about international! This Internet really does go all over the planet, doesn't it! If you had asked me where would be the first person to load my World's Most Blog in their internet web window, I couldn't have guessed correctly. I might have chosen wacky countries, like Hatari or perhaps Burundi, one of the poorest countries on earth where most people are too malnourished to care about computing. Guessing alphabetically, Australia would have been my 16th choice, though.
So, let me just say this to you, over under down there in Australia: salutations and contratulations on being the first human who is not me to visit my blog!
Checking my Stat Counter statistic counter, I find that I am still the #1 reader of my blog. I'M #1!!! I'M #1 AT SOMETHING!
Close at #2 is Google's search engine. Google's search engine is found here. But I don't think Google's search engine is a real person.
I was absolutely delighted when Stat Counter told me today that there's a new entrant in the race to see who can read my blog! And according to Stat Counter, they hail from Australia!
Hello, Australia! G'Day, Mate! Your computer signals travelled halfway across the world to the land up over to see my Canadian webblog. In case you're feeling homesick, here's this David Bowie video to remind you of home.
Talk about international! This Internet really does go all over the planet, doesn't it! If you had asked me where would be the first person to load my World's Most Blog in their internet web window, I couldn't have guessed correctly. I might have chosen wacky countries, like Hatari or perhaps Burundi, one of the poorest countries on earth where most people are too malnourished to care about computing. Guessing alphabetically, Australia would have been my 16th choice, though.
So, let me just say this to you, over under down there in Australia: salutations and contratulations on being the first human who is not me to visit my blog!
New Published Post About Blog Roll
I've created a Blog Roll. A Blog Roll is like a Rick Roll, except in adjusted reality it's really just a list of blogs that I may or may not be reading. The idea is to create links between blogs, thereby becoming... blogospheric!
Well, I'm only linking to my own blog for now whoops, Italics are still on. Like I said, I'm only linking to my own web log for now. Later I might link to other blogs on the Internet. If you found my page for your own reasons and you want me to link to your web blog, let me know what it is.
It's fun to have a blog roll. The blog roll is properly called "Other Web Blogs" and can be found on the right
-->
side next to my date- and time-stamped posted entries like this one.
At some point in the future, I might move my Blog Roll over to the left side.
<--
Or I might have a Blog Roll Link that, when you click on it with your mouse or other pointing device, will send you to a page of blogs. That could be ANYWHERE on the page, but I hope I will try to not put it in an inconvenient and/or inaccessible location. I promise not to link it to a Rick Roll because that's not very funny anymore, because modern Internet computer users adjust faster and faster to novelties, however amusing they may be.
Well, I'm only linking to my own blog for now whoops, Italics are still on. Like I said, I'm only linking to my own web log for now. Later I might link to other blogs on the Internet. If you found my page for your own reasons and you want me to link to your web blog, let me know what it is.
It's fun to have a blog roll. The blog roll is properly called "Other Web Blogs" and can be found on the right
-->
side next to my date- and time-stamped posted entries like this one.
At some point in the future, I might move my Blog Roll over to the left side.
<--
Or I might have a Blog Roll Link that, when you click on it with your mouse or other pointing device, will send you to a page of blogs. That could be ANYWHERE on the page, but I hope I will try to not put it in an inconvenient and/or inaccessible location. I promise not to link it to a Rick Roll because that's not very funny anymore, because modern Internet computer users adjust faster and faster to novelties, however amusing they may be.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Car Pools
Now I'm going to go deep into a subject I sort of feel something about. It's called "Car pooling".
I don't drive. But if I did, I'd make a car pool with my car.
I'd like to look at car pooling in terms of functions of things, functions of functions of things, and so on. Ok? (And I'm going to use "car pool" like a verb.)
Gas Expenditure
The amount you spend on gas is a inverse function of the amount of people in the car pool. Therefore, the more people car pool, the more they'll split the gas, and the less they'll spend on gas.
Gas Prices
Gas prices are a function of supply and demand. (At least, they're supposed to be.) As demand for gas increase, price increases; as demand decreases, price decreases. Demand is a function of the number of cars on the road. The number of cars on the road is an inverse function of the number of car pools. Therefore, if more people car pool, gas prices will drop.
Road Repairs
The amount of municipal road repair is a function of the number of cars on the road. The number of cars on the road is a function of the number of cars people have to use. The number of cars people use is an inverse function of the number and size of car pools. Therefore, if more people car pool, fewer road repairs will be done.
Property Taxes
The amount you pay in property taxes is a function of the amount of municipal road repair. Therefore, the more people car pool, the less you'll pay on property taxes. (Assuming no change in other municipal spending.)
Vehicle Maintenance
The amount you spend on vehicle maintenance is a function of the amount of vehicle use. The amount of vehicle use is a function of car pool use, in that passengers will not be using their cars while car pooling. Therefore, the more people car pool, the less they'll pay for vehicle maintenance.
Traffic Accidents
The amount of traffic accidents is a function of the amount of traffic, or the number of cars on the road. The number of cars on the road is an inverse function of the number of car pools. Therefore, the more people car pool, the fewer accidents there will be. (But the less awkward my sentences might not be.)
Auto Insurance
Auto insurance is a function of the number of traffic accidents. Therefore, the more people car pool, the lower auto insurance premiums will be.
Commute Time
Commute time is a function of the number of cars on the road. The number of cars on the road is an inverse function of the number of car pools. Commute time is also a function of road repairs, which tend to slow traffic. Therefore, if more people car pool, commute times will be shorter. (Ah, better sentence structure.)
Stress
Stress is a function of commute time. Therefore, if more people car pool, there will be less stress.
Violence (Road Rage)
Road rage is a function of stress. Therefore, if more people car pool, there will be less road rage. (Assuming you get along with your fellow car poolers.)
Disease
Disease is a function of stress. Therefore, if more people car pool, there will be less disease. (I know, I'm stretching it; if more people car pool, they might also spread disease due to closer proximity.)
Nocturnal, I mean, Carbon Emissions (dammit)
Carbon emissions are a function of the number of cars on the road. The number of cars on the road is an inverse function of the number of car pools. Therefore, if more people car pool, there will be fewer carbon emissions.
(I might go on to say the existence of the species is a function of having a livable environment, which is a function of not having an overheated planet, etc., which is a function of car pools.)
Extra Time To Do Stuff
Time to do stuff is a function of having your hands free. Having your hands free is a function of not having to operate a car. Not having to operate a car is a function of being a passenger in a car instead of a driver. Therefore, the more people car pool, the more people (i.e., the passengers) will have extra time to do stuff instead of driving.
In Summary
More car poolings =
It is amazing how few people car pool, given the financial incentives. Although some of the financial incentives would take a mass movement to realize (e.g., lowering gas prices and insurance premiums), several are immediately accessible (saving money on gas and vehicle maintenance, and having more free time).
So if you're out there reading this (and if you've made it this far, you are), then start a car pool.
I don't drive. But if I did, I'd make a car pool with my car.
I'd like to look at car pooling in terms of functions of things, functions of functions of things, and so on. Ok? (And I'm going to use "car pool" like a verb.)
Gas Expenditure
The amount you spend on gas is a inverse function of the amount of people in the car pool. Therefore, the more people car pool, the more they'll split the gas, and the less they'll spend on gas.
Gas Prices
Gas prices are a function of supply and demand. (At least, they're supposed to be.) As demand for gas increase, price increases; as demand decreases, price decreases. Demand is a function of the number of cars on the road. The number of cars on the road is an inverse function of the number of car pools. Therefore, if more people car pool, gas prices will drop.
Road Repairs
The amount of municipal road repair is a function of the number of cars on the road. The number of cars on the road is a function of the number of cars people have to use. The number of cars people use is an inverse function of the number and size of car pools. Therefore, if more people car pool, fewer road repairs will be done.
Property Taxes
The amount you pay in property taxes is a function of the amount of municipal road repair. Therefore, the more people car pool, the less you'll pay on property taxes. (Assuming no change in other municipal spending.)
Vehicle Maintenance
The amount you spend on vehicle maintenance is a function of the amount of vehicle use. The amount of vehicle use is a function of car pool use, in that passengers will not be using their cars while car pooling. Therefore, the more people car pool, the less they'll pay for vehicle maintenance.
Traffic Accidents
The amount of traffic accidents is a function of the amount of traffic, or the number of cars on the road. The number of cars on the road is an inverse function of the number of car pools. Therefore, the more people car pool, the fewer accidents there will be. (But the less awkward my sentences might not be.)
Auto Insurance
Auto insurance is a function of the number of traffic accidents. Therefore, the more people car pool, the lower auto insurance premiums will be.
Commute Time
Commute time is a function of the number of cars on the road. The number of cars on the road is an inverse function of the number of car pools. Commute time is also a function of road repairs, which tend to slow traffic. Therefore, if more people car pool, commute times will be shorter. (Ah, better sentence structure.)
Stress
Stress is a function of commute time. Therefore, if more people car pool, there will be less stress.
Violence (Road Rage)
Road rage is a function of stress. Therefore, if more people car pool, there will be less road rage. (Assuming you get along with your fellow car poolers.)
Disease
Disease is a function of stress. Therefore, if more people car pool, there will be less disease. (I know, I'm stretching it; if more people car pool, they might also spread disease due to closer proximity.)
Nocturnal, I mean, Carbon Emissions (dammit)
Carbon emissions are a function of the number of cars on the road. The number of cars on the road is an inverse function of the number of car pools. Therefore, if more people car pool, there will be fewer carbon emissions.
(I might go on to say the existence of the species is a function of having a livable environment, which is a function of not having an overheated planet, etc., which is a function of car pools.)
Extra Time To Do Stuff
Time to do stuff is a function of having your hands free. Having your hands free is a function of not having to operate a car. Not having to operate a car is a function of being a passenger in a car instead of a driver. Therefore, the more people car pool, the more people (i.e., the passengers) will have extra time to do stuff instead of driving.
In Summary
More car poolings =
- saving money on gas
- lowering gas prices, and saving even more money on gas
- lowering your property taxes
- saving money on vehicle maintenance
- lower auto insurance premiums
- faster commutes
- longer existence of species
- more free time
It is amazing how few people car pool, given the financial incentives. Although some of the financial incentives would take a mass movement to realize (e.g., lowering gas prices and insurance premiums), several are immediately accessible (saving money on gas and vehicle maintenance, and having more free time).
So if you're out there reading this (and if you've made it this far, you are), then start a car pool.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
I Made Further Changes (See The Update)
I made changes to the blog layout. Changes have to be logged for historical reference. Someday I will ask myself if I made changes to my blog at around 1:00AM on June 10, 2008. Because weblog postings are dated and timed, I can look back and say: "YES!" That will make my life more interesting.
However, I am not logging what changes I have made. To find that out, I am going to assume that I will remember under hypnosis. Then I can look back and say: "YES! Hypnotism is interesting!"
Also, here's a video:
UPDATE: I noticed that not all of the words in this post's original Title, "I made changes", were Capitalized, so I changed the post's Title to use all Capitalized words. I also changed the keyword list to include the words "capitalization" and "keyword abuse" and "blog", because this is a blog.
However, I am not logging what changes I have made. To find that out, I am going to assume that I will remember under hypnosis. Then I can look back and say: "YES! Hypnotism is interesting!"
Also, here's a video:
UPDATE: I noticed that not all of the words in this post's original Title, "I made changes", were Capitalized, so I changed the post's Title to use all Capitalized words. I also changed the keyword list to include the words "capitalization" and "keyword abuse" and "blog", because this is a blog.
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