This Is A Thinking Man's Blog

Ponder this: Am I blog-ging?... Or is the blog me-ing?

Think about it. Makes you think, don't it? Really makes you wonder what it's all about, doesn't it. Yep.

Mise En Scene Part 3: Dream Warriors

You are sitting at a computer. You are looking at the Internet. The Web Browing program is at this blog. Your eyes scan across the blog posting. Because you are wondering what has been happening at this blog.

I have the Training Day Digital Video Disc (DVD) from the library. I am at home, about to watch the shit. I open up the case. Then I prepare to type in a long sentence in my blog. I take out the DVD and the shit is all scratched up like someone stuck it in a box with lots of nails and sharp pieces of glass and then tossed the shit into the middle of a tornado and retrieved it later and put it back in the case and returned it to the library. I catch a whiff of something from the case: the shit smells like bad perfume. Then I check the inside of the case. I noticed there is a fucking "DVD Care Tips" note taped inside. Out of all the 7 DVDs I got from the library, the Training Day shit is the only one with that fucking "DVD Care Tips". I think: it's a little late for that.

I place the Digital Versatile Disk in my DVD player. I press the play button. It appears that the Digital DVD Disc appears to work in my DVD player. I see Denzel Warshington and Ethan Hawrke. I stop, realizing that I've exaggerated a bit about the condition of the DVD. I also realize something else. I realize that this web blog posting has more swear words than any other on the blog. Then I realize that the swearing is all concentrated in the previous paragraph.

I prepare to press the Publish Post button again and go off to watch Training Day. I enjoy pressing that button. I enjoy the feeling of pressing it with the left-mouse button. It means that this post will soon be out there for the computer world to enjoy.

Short N Sweet

I'm trying to figure out whether I care if anyone reads this blog. But I'm not trying very hard.

I'm thinking about when I will change the title of this internet blog back to "World's Most Blog" from "World's Mocst Blog", changed temporarily in honour of the silent "c" in Connecticut. But I'm not thinking much about it.

I'm considering whether the Internet's World's Most Blog will ever have a different official flower from the Mountain Laurel. But my consideration doesn't lend itself to being a good example of discipline or determination in contemplation.

I'm typing words for this weblog posting. But those words... are numbered. They cannot last... forever. Ellipses... can be abused... right here.

I'm about to press the "Publish Post" button on Blogger's Create Post Compose Box. I will press it ever so slightly.

Hey, I just noticed that Blog Spot is an anagram for Blog Post. Weird.

World's Most Post

I've already announced that this is a World's Most Blog. With that in mind, if you're reading this - and I think you are - you may be wondering: is there a World's Most Post in the World's Most Blog? That's a good question to wonder.

To put an answer to your wonderment: this is it! This is the World's Most Post - arguably a World's Most Post - on World's Most Blog! Enjoy it - that's why I wrote it!

Now, if I didn't explicitly write a World's Most Post (that's this one), it would have been a disservice to my readership - namely:

• me (#1 Reader! I'm #1!)
• the Google indexing spider crawler
• 2 random computer users from Australia and Connecticut who accidentally browsed by

How would they know what the World's Most Post on World's Most Blog was? I can't leave them in such a state of confusion. They would have to go through every single post I have ever written to decide. Who the fuck (note: first time "fuck" (second time) used on this World's Most Post) has time for that? People would become frustrated and stop reading the blog, even before they've started!

To be sure, this is only a World's Most Post - there might be others. Also, this is only a World's Most Post on World's Most Blog. Other computer blogs might have their own World's Most Posts. Some web blogs might have more than one World's Most Post. It can get confusing. This is what content management is for.

So make sure to add this to your online browsers' list of bookmarks for ease of reference. (Do this for all internet browsing programs.) I will also add it to the Side Bar for you.

Water Drinking Game

Wow. I haven't web blogged in 3 days. That's a World Record for me.

I SET A WORLD RECORD!!! I'M #1! I'M #1!!!

Well, I've broken my streak. Now I have to write something. I'll try to write something. No, I'll try to blog something!

Normally, when people set a World Record, they have a drink of alcohol. I don't drink alcohol and I don't like to encourage alcohol consumption. But I will encourage water consumption. So here's a water drinking game. I will give you the "algorithm" using the HypoText Makeup Language numbered list feature, which takes a list of items and numbers them. But not in random order; rather, in increasing order. But not starting just anywhere; rather, starting at the number 1.

1. Watch Land of the Dead. Sorry, I mean Land of the Dead. Yeah, that one. Yeah, the latter. Yeah, the last one. Yeah, not the first one. Yeah, not the former. Yeah.
2. Make sure you are Canadian and have watched enough Canadian commercial television to see enough Canadian commercials.
3. Every time you recognize an actor from Canadian commercials (several are zombies), take a drink of water.
4. When the movie ends, RUN! GO! GET TO THE BATHROOM! You will have a lot of peeing to do because there are a lot of Canadian commercial actors cast in Land of the Dead and you drank a lot of water.

Connecticut Rules

Only 2 of the 3 "c"s are pronounced in "Connecticut". But that doesn't change the fact that World's Most Blog's 2nd official human reader who isn't me hails from the great state of Connecticut!

Congratulations, Connecticut! You're #2! You're #2!

For those of you who are reading this, Connecticut is located in the United States of America. It is one of the 50 states in America and, like many states, it was a Wikipedia page. Connecticut has been mentioned more than once on both Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy; now it has the distinction of been mentioned several times in a posting on World's Most Blog!

In honour of the great state of Connecticut, I am going to do 3 things:

1. use a numbered list to list the 3 things, because I have neglected numbered listing
2. do 5 things instead of 3 things
3. temporarily rename "World's Most Blog" to "World's Mocst Blog" to celebrate the silent "c"
4. avoid referring to every other state in the union (except Hawaii) until they bother to get their lazy ass off the rest of the Internet to visit my blog
5. adopt Connecticut's state flower, the Mountain Laurel, as the official flower of this blog

Your computer signals travelled halfway across the continent to the Great White North to see my Canadian webblog. In case you're feeling homesick, here's this tourism video from Danbury Connecticut to remind you of home.

Mise En Scene Part 2: Nerds In Paradise

It is daytime. It is the day after yesterday. I sit at my Internet computer as I enter words into Blogger's Post Creator. After many hours of sleep, the cold has subsided. My sneezing is less pronounced; it is more mispronounced, like "seneeznig". I am less feverish and less sneezerish.

It continues to be daytime as I type this second paragraph. I cannot say how many paragraphs this blog posting will contain... but it will contain some. I can only say with certainty that this paragraph will contain one paragraph's worth of words. There is no other way out.

I experiment with sequel post subtitling. Instead of "Electric Bugaloo", I have chosen "Nerds In Paradise" over "Freddy's Revenge" and "The First Assignment". "Nerds In Paradise" is el último hombre.

Suddenly, it occurs to me that this post is trilingual. Just as suddenly, I experience the realization that my usage of 2 of the 3 languages is limited to 1 3-word stock phrase per language. My disappointment is palpable and palpatating. It is daytime.

Mise En Scene

It is night. I sit at a computer. I am accessing the Internet. A cold has overtaken me and I find myself sneezing several times, reminding me that I still feel mildly feverish. It was not a good idea to miss a night's sleep. My immune system has not yet caught up the lost ground. A cold virus has taken full advantage of my weakness.

I drink Greens+ Daily Detox to boost my body's antioxidant activity and immune strength. Hourly I consume 1000mg of Vitamin C. Still, I sneeze and sneeze. I wonder how many sneezes I could have prevented by placing my finger under my nose. But that finger is needed to use the Internet. And so the sneezing goes on.

I look at the floor. There is a sock. It is inside out, resting where I dropped it off my sweaty foot. Its partner is out of sight. I find myself briefly wondering where the other sock is, and whether it too is inside out. Under most circumstances, that is a simple, mundane question, but in my present state, it almost hints at something more symbolic of the archetypal. The fog in my head both suggests the greater meaning and prevents its revelation.

I sneeze again. It is time to press the Publish Post button. The Internet will then know the contents of Mise En Scene. And I will know that the Internet knows. It is night.

Living Effortfully Part 2 : Electric Bugaloo

I'm sorry about the title. I cannot resist adding "Electric Bugaloo" to the first sequel of anything. Thinking ahead to the future, what do you think is better for the second sequel: "Dream Warriors", "The Search For Spock" or "Back In Training"?

You know, come to think of it, suffixing the title of this post with "Electric Bugaloo" took no effort. I've used that so many times IRL and elsewhere that it was truly effortless. It's Mastery! Likewise, it was effortless to create the main portion of the title: this is part of a series of Living Effortfully, and it is the second part of the series (the first sequel), so naturally it is Part 2; thus, I fluidly intuited "Living Effortfully Part 2". Again, Mastery!

Already, I find myself in a difficult situation. I cannot escape from Effortless Mastery! when that is what I want least. I am supposed to be trying to make a post with as much effort as I possibly can! Now I have to swear again. Although I have sweared multiple times already on my blog, you might remember that my first swearing occured at Living Effortfully Part 1. That swear was the F-word and it was performed entirely Caps Lock for LOUD VOLUME effect. For the second time in my blog's history, I am going to use the F-word in LOUD VOLUME to express my frustrations at being too effortless to blog with maximum effortfulness:

FUCK!

Watch out for Living Effortfully Part 3: Urban Harvest!

On And Off

I'm on-line in my Blogger blog creator box right now. Soon I'm going to go publish this online blog post, then go off-line the blog text box. Then I'm going to go online to my blog (but not the blog text box for creating postings) and look at what I am writing right at now. Later I will go off-line my blog proper. Then I will likely be online in the internet browsing window for a time further. Eventually I will go offline from the web browser program. Then later I will go offline completely from the Internet network. Finally for the evening, I will go offline from in real waking life and go online in dreamless sleep, then go on and off-line from between in-real-life dream and dreamless sleep.

This type of oscillating is probably going to continue, but unfortunately, not indefinitely. Some day I will be disconnected (peacefully and a looooong time from now, I do hope), whether or not from my own will or not, from all in-real-life and on line and offline from the internet. After that, if I've been adequately good and aware in my life offline from death, I'm crossing my keytyping fingers that I will simply be offlife online someplace else with an online infinite.

Australia Rules

I've been writing this blog for a while now, at least since late May 2008. Some people have been making blogs even longer than that!

Checking my Stat Counter statistic counter, I find that I am still the #1 reader of my blog. I'M #1!!! I'M #1 AT SOMETHING!

Close at #2 is Google's search engine. Google's search engine is found here. But I don't think Google's search engine is a real person.

I was absolutely delighted when Stat Counter told me today that there's a new entrant in the race to see who can read my blog! And according to Stat Counter, they hail from Australia!

Hello, Australia! G'Day, Mate! Your computer signals travelled halfway across the world to the land up over to see my Canadian webblog. In case you're feeling homesick, here's this David Bowie video to remind you of home.



Talk about international! This Internet really does go all over the planet, doesn't it! If you had asked me where would be the first person to load my World's Most Blog in their internet web window, I couldn't have guessed correctly. I might have chosen wacky countries, like Hatari or perhaps Burundi, one of the poorest countries on earth where most people are too malnourished to care about computing. Guessing alphabetically, Australia would have been my 16th choice, though.

So, let me just say this to you, over under down there in Australia: salutations and contratulations on being the first human who is not me to visit my blog!

Living Effortfully Part 1

People often talk about doing things effortlessly. In the Zone, in the Zen, whatever it is; in the Zen Zone or in the Xander Zone, perhaps?

I'm now going to do the opposite. I'm going to make a blog post with as much effort as possible. It's going to be Effortful, rather than Effortless. I will not be at Peak Performance; rather, I will be in Valley Performance. I will be out of the Zone. Technically, I will be in another Zone, but it will not be the Default "the Zone". The Default "the Zone" is restricted to Effortless Peak Performance. The rest of the Zones involve varying amounts of effort. I will be in the most effortful of the Zones as I type this; a Zone not only of sight and sound, but too much trying.

I will try so hard to blog. I'm going to give 110%, or at least something greater than 100%, which is mathematically impossible. You will probably read this and think: "Look at him trying so hard. He is really overdoing it. It's a shame because I know he can do it; but unless he learns to relax, it will never happen. He's going to burn himself out. 5 posts in a day? He has to learn how to pace his blogging."

I am trying so hard to write a blog right now that I am getting very frustrated. That's what happens with too much effort and not enough result: I get emotionally stressed. The results you see are not matching all of my expectations and that is really bothering me. I am beginning to feel like a complete failure. I am now going to write a swear word for the very first time on my blog to express how frustrating are my fruitless Efforts.

FUCK!

Now I am going to blame you. STOP... WATCHING... ME!... I... CAN'T... WRITE... WHILE... YOU'RE... WATCHING...

If you do not see this post, it is because I broke my computer before I could press the "publish post" button on Blogger's stupid Post Creator. Stupid Blogger, why did I even start a blog here anyway? If their Post Composer wasn't so stupid and buggy (in a way I can't put my finger on right now but clearly making for a convenient scapegoat), I'd have written the best post ever already.

Ok, I give up. This is never going to work.

I'm going to take your advice and go take a break. But I will return, and I will try again. Oh yes... there will be blog. Until I know better, I am going to make a series of these Living Effortfully posts in future.

This Blog Posting Is Titled But It Has No Other Content, And Not Even Keywords

New Published Post About Blog Roll

I've created a Blog Roll. A Blog Roll is like a Rick Roll, except in adjusted reality it's really just a list of blogs that I may or may not be reading. The idea is to create links between blogs, thereby becoming... blogospheric!

Well, I'm only linking to my own blog for now whoops, Italics are still on. Like I said, I'm only linking to my own web log for now. Later I might link to other blogs on the Internet. If you found my page for your own reasons and you want me to link to your web blog, let me know what it is.

It's fun to have a blog roll. The blog roll is properly called "Other Web Blogs" and can be found on the right

-->

side next to my date- and time-stamped posted entries like this one.

At some point in the future, I might move my Blog Roll over to the left side.

<--

Or I might have a Blog Roll Link that, when you click on it with your mouse or other pointing device, will send you to a page of blogs. That could be ANYWHERE on the page, but I hope I will try to not put it in an inconvenient and/or inaccessible location. I promise not to link it to a Rick Roll because that's not very funny anymore, because modern Internet computer users adjust faster and faster to novelties, however amusing they may be.

Plum Of Dumb

Discrete Web Blog Statistics

In my very last post - to which I will not link because it was my very last post and I don't think it will ruin your web experience if I don't link to it, so see the archives - I told you about how I added a Stat Counter stat counter to my web blog. And you know what?

I AM THE #1 VIEWER OF MY BLOG! I'M #1! I'M THE BEST AT SOMETHING!

Statcounter

I added a Statcounter stat counter to my blog. It collects discrete statistical information about who types "worldsmostblog.blogspot.com" into their WWW browser program. This means that when you visit my blog, I WILL KNOW. I WILL USE THIS INFORMATION AGAINST YOU.

No, I won't. My jack-booted goons are on strike, and so are all the mechanics for my black helicopters. Apparently, their contract is up and "I don't pay them enough to meet inflation and the average mercenary's cost of living" or some crap. Damned PSGBHMU (Private SWAT Goons and Black Helicopter Mechanics Union) Chapter 91.

And those Chinese and Russians hackers I hired who were supposed to crack your computer and blow up your hard drive in your face? They kinda cleaned out my offshore bank accounts instead. Bastards.

But I can't blame anyone else for my problems: this is all my doing. I had negative intentions to use binary digital tracking information on you to harm you and your Web computer, and that negativity slung-shot and boomeranged and splish-splashed back at me. What comes around goes around and I get what I deserve. Never again will I take the information I collect on you and use it as content for any more nefarious plans.

Nevertheless, I am going to leave Stat Counter up on my Internet blog so I can see when people visit the site. I am going to sit myself in a circle around a small fire on the carpet of my dumpy basement apartment, grab some bongos and marimbas and cowbells, manipulate the instruments into a miraculous shamantric whirlwind of life-affirming cosmic energies, and fling it out at the centre of your forehead like a friendly frisby, just for taking the time to visit.

Car Pools

Now I'm going to go deep into a subject I sort of feel something about. It's called "Car pooling".

I don't drive. But if I did, I'd make a car pool with my car.

I'd like to look at car pooling in terms of functions of things, functions of functions of things, and so on. Ok? (And I'm going to use "car pool" like a verb.)

Gas Expenditure

The amount you spend on gas is a inverse function of the amount of people in the car pool. Therefore, the more people car pool, the more they'll split the gas, and the less they'll spend on gas.

Gas Prices

Gas prices are a function of supply and demand. (At least, they're supposed to be.) As demand for gas increase, price increases; as demand decreases, price decreases. Demand is a function of the number of cars on the road. The number of cars on the road is an inverse function of the number of car pools. Therefore, if more people car pool, gas prices will drop.

Road Repairs

The amount of municipal road repair is a function of the number of cars on the road. The number of cars on the road is a function of the number of cars people have to use. The number of cars people use is an inverse function of the number and size of car pools. Therefore, if more people car pool, fewer road repairs will be done.

Property Taxes

The amount you pay in property taxes is a function of the amount of municipal road repair. Therefore, the more people car pool, the less you'll pay on property taxes. (Assuming no change in other municipal spending.)

Vehicle Maintenance

The amount you spend on vehicle maintenance is a function of the amount of vehicle use. The amount of vehicle use is a function of car pool use, in that passengers will not be using their cars while car pooling. Therefore, the more people car pool, the less they'll pay for vehicle maintenance.

Traffic Accidents

The amount of traffic accidents is a function of the amount of traffic, or the number of cars on the road. The number of cars on the road is an inverse function of the number of car pools. Therefore, the more people car pool, the fewer accidents there will be. (But the less awkward my sentences might not be.)

Auto Insurance

Auto insurance is a function of the number of traffic accidents. Therefore, the more people car pool, the lower auto insurance premiums will be.

Commute Time

Commute time is a function of the number of cars on the road. The number of cars on the road is an inverse function of the number of car pools. Commute time is also a function of road repairs, which tend to slow traffic. Therefore, if more people car pool, commute times will be shorter. (Ah, better sentence structure.)

Stress

Stress is a function of commute time. Therefore, if more people car pool, there will be less stress.

Violence (Road Rage)

Road rage is a function of stress. Therefore, if more people car pool, there will be less road rage. (Assuming you get along with your fellow car poolers.)

Disease

Disease is a function of stress. Therefore, if more people car pool, there will be less disease. (I know, I'm stretching it; if more people car pool, they might also spread disease due to closer proximity.)

Nocturnal, I mean, Carbon Emissions (dammit)

Carbon emissions are a function of the number of cars on the road. The number of cars on the road is an inverse function of the number of car pools. Therefore, if more people car pool, there will be fewer carbon emissions.

(I might go on to say the existence of the species is a function of having a livable environment, which is a function of not having an overheated planet, etc., which is a function of car pools.)

Extra Time To Do Stuff

Time to do stuff is a function of having your hands free. Having your hands free is a function of not having to operate a car. Not having to operate a car is a function of being a passenger in a car instead of a driver. Therefore, the more people car pool, the more people (i.e., the passengers) will have extra time to do stuff instead of driving.

In Summary

More car poolings =

• saving money on gas
• lowering gas prices, and saving even more money on gas
• lowering your property taxes
• saving money on vehicle maintenance
• lower auto insurance premiums
• faster commutes
• longer existence of species
• more free time

Epicac, I mean, Epilogue

It is amazing how few people car pool, given the financial incentives. Although some of the financial incentives would take a mass movement to realize (e.g., lowering gas prices and insurance premiums), several are immediately accessible (saving money on gas and vehicle maintenance, and having more free time).

So if you're out there reading this (and if you've made it this far, you are), then start a car pool.

Disturbing Gore

I have a mild headache and it's translating into negative emotions. It occured to me that: "oh! I have a blog on the world-wide Internet! I could take out my negative emotions on the entire world (that owns computer) by linking to an image or video of disturbing gore!"

But my CBT kicked in, and instead I made the crucial decision to post the opposite of disturbing gore! What is the opposite of disturbing gore? Un-disturbing gore? Disturbing non-gore? Un-disturbing non-gore?

I gave up and went to YouTube and found one of the least viewed videos with a predictably cute and average rabbit.

Something Interesting

I know something interesting I can write about myself. This is becoming a personal weblog, what with me writing things about myself.

I've started eating snack food with chopsticks. Like popcorn, cheese puffs, peanuts, and so forth. There are several advantages to this, like maybe 2 advantages. First of all, my fingers don't get dirty. Second, I should eat less which will lower my caloric intake. The latter advantage doesn't actually actualize because it's just too much fun to eat food with chopsticks.

That was a personal announcement I just announced... or was it? Did it reveal any weakness that could be exploited? Obviously, I mentioned a concern about caloric intake. Am I self-conscious about a weight problem? Do I have diabetes or a history of heart disease in my family? How would someone exploit these possible points of weakness?

Good Afternoon

When the thought popped into my head like... something that pops (corn?)... to write an afternoon post, it occured to me that I haven't written very many afternoon posts, and I ought to do so! So then I opened up my Web browser to post my afternoon-timestamped thoughts on the Internet for other people on the Internet to read over their Web browsers!

When I started writing the last paragraph, I checked the time and it was... almost 6:30PM!?!That's not afternoon, that's evening! My afternoon post will have to wait for another day.

I Made Further Changes (See The Update)

I made changes to the blog layout. Changes have to be logged for historical reference. Someday I will ask myself if I made changes to my blog at around 1:00AM on June 10, 2008. Because weblog postings are dated and timed, I can look back and say: "YES!" That will make my life more interesting.

However, I am not logging what changes I have made. To find that out, I am going to assume that I will remember under hypnosis. Then I can look back and say: "YES! Hypnotism is interesting!"

Also, here's a video:



UPDATE: I noticed that not all of the words in this post's original Title, "I made changes", were Capitalized, so I changed the post's Title to use all Capitalized words. I also changed the keyword list to include the words "capitalization" and "keyword abuse" and "blog", because this is a blog.

Creative

In order to be creative, I made a change to the blog layout. You'll now see the words "It's a world's most blog". Note how the sloth in that phrase underlines a lack of creativity. It's "a" world's most blog, like I don't even care if it is the most. It's not really creative in the first place: I just took "world's most blog" and prefixed it with "It's the", as if you didn't already know where you were. Also, I only bothered to capitalize "It's", but the rest of the phrase? I could care less. Since I'm just typing even more words into this thing, why bother with the Shift key? That's extra work for my ring finger.

So look forward to more creativity as I make further changes in the future. One day, you won't recognize this blog. Especially if you get severe and sudden macular degeneration, or Alzheimer's, or you have a stroke or head trauma some form of severe brain injury damaging the area of your brain used to recognize blogs (mine in particular). Then I will have to morph my text-based "web content" into audio or braille for you. So please, buy a helmet - it will make my life much easier. Life is hard enough having to maintain an "online presence" with "web log content".

Hi

This post has not been removed by the author... yet.

Just some numbers

According to CTV's W5, drunk drivers kill 1200 Canadians every year. It's the leading criminal cause of death in Canada. If you accept that terrorist attacks are criminal acts, this means that drunk driving is worse than terrorism, at least quantitatively speaking.

To put this in perspective, in the 9/11 terrorist attacks, 24 Canadians were killed. (I will assume for now that the attacks were not a false-flag operation directed by Dick Cheney but were actually committed by bona-fide Islamic terrorists directed by Osama Bin Laden.) If you do the math, almost 24 Canadians are killed by drunk drivers every week.*

If you are addicted to alcohol, you might try to convince me that terrorist attacks are not criminal acts but rather acts of war. That way, you can use the apples-and-oranges semantic routine to duck my comparisons, and thereby protect your beloved drink.

* 1200 Canadians per year / 51 weeks = 23.59 ≈ 24 Canadians per week

You Know The Type

Yeah, the other day, I saw one of them. You know the type. The kind of person easily summarized, categorized and classified. That type. You know, a person whose essential qualities are easily captured and dismissed and degraded with minimal text. The kind of person who'll walk right up to you and say, "If you have a sense of inadequacy, just go ahead and deny it. Labeling me ultimately won't make you feel better, but that won't stop you." I bet they would be stupid enough to say that, too. We are better than them.

Those people. They make it so easy. They're so predictable.

The Next Bible

Nobody is reading my blog yet. Imagine that one day it became a sacred text to a billion people? That is one of the more ridiculous possibilities in the infinite universe.