Car Pools

Now I'm going to go deep into a subject I sort of feel something about. It's called "Car pooling".

I don't drive. But if I did, I'd make a car pool with my car.

I'd like to look at car pooling in terms of functions of things, functions of functions of things, and so on. Ok? (And I'm going to use "car pool" like a verb.)

Gas Expenditure

The amount you spend on gas is a inverse function of the amount of people in the car pool. Therefore, the more people car pool, the more they'll split the gas, and the less they'll spend on gas.

Gas Prices

Gas prices are a function of supply and demand. (At least, they're supposed to be.) As demand for gas increase, price increases; as demand decreases, price decreases. Demand is a function of the number of cars on the road. The number of cars on the road is an inverse function of the number of car pools. Therefore, if more people car pool, gas prices will drop.

Road Repairs

The amount of municipal road repair is a function of the number of cars on the road. The number of cars on the road is a function of the number of cars people have to use. The number of cars people use is an inverse function of the number and size of car pools. Therefore, if more people car pool, fewer road repairs will be done.

Property Taxes

The amount you pay in property taxes is a function of the amount of municipal road repair. Therefore, the more people car pool, the less you'll pay on property taxes. (Assuming no change in other municipal spending.)

Vehicle Maintenance

The amount you spend on vehicle maintenance is a function of the amount of vehicle use. The amount of vehicle use is a function of car pool use, in that passengers will not be using their cars while car pooling. Therefore, the more people car pool, the less they'll pay for vehicle maintenance.

Traffic Accidents

The amount of traffic accidents is a function of the amount of traffic, or the number of cars on the road. The number of cars on the road is an inverse function of the number of car pools. Therefore, the more people car pool, the fewer accidents there will be. (But the less awkward my sentences might not be.)

Auto Insurance

Auto insurance is a function of the number of traffic accidents. Therefore, the more people car pool, the lower auto insurance premiums will be.

Commute Time

Commute time is a function of the number of cars on the road. The number of cars on the road is an inverse function of the number of car pools. Commute time is also a function of road repairs, which tend to slow traffic. Therefore, if more people car pool, commute times will be shorter. (Ah, better sentence structure.)

Stress

Stress is a function of commute time. Therefore, if more people car pool, there will be less stress.

Violence (Road Rage)

Road rage is a function of stress. Therefore, if more people car pool, there will be less road rage. (Assuming you get along with your fellow car poolers.)

Disease

Disease is a function of stress. Therefore, if more people car pool, there will be less disease. (I know, I'm stretching it; if more people car pool, they might also spread disease due to closer proximity.)

Nocturnal, I mean, Carbon Emissions (dammit)

Carbon emissions are a function of the number of cars on the road. The number of cars on the road is an inverse function of the number of car pools. Therefore, if more people car pool, there will be fewer carbon emissions.

(I might go on to say the existence of the species is a function of having a livable environment, which is a function of not having an overheated planet, etc., which is a function of car pools.)

Extra Time To Do Stuff

Time to do stuff is a function of having your hands free. Having your hands free is a function of not having to operate a car. Not having to operate a car is a function of being a passenger in a car instead of a driver. Therefore, the more people car pool, the more people (i.e., the passengers) will have extra time to do stuff instead of driving.

In Summary

More car poolings =

• saving money on gas
• lowering gas prices, and saving even more money on gas
• lowering your property taxes
• saving money on vehicle maintenance
• lower auto insurance premiums
• faster commutes
• longer existence of species
• more free time

Epicac, I mean, Epilogue

It is amazing how few people car pool, given the financial incentives. Although some of the financial incentives would take a mass movement to realize (e.g., lowering gas prices and insurance premiums), several are immediately accessible (saving money on gas and vehicle maintenance, and having more free time).

So if you're out there reading this (and if you've made it this far, you are), then start a car pool.